


Modern Dorkmates

by pandaTapJR, stArchaeopteryx



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol in chapter 7 but you can actually skip over the entire chap if you wanna!, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Collab story with two other friends, Gen, This WAS an AU of another story but now it's exploded, actually a LOT of stuff is unrealistic but we're having fun, also swearing whoops, don't hurt us please, so have this, we don't know anything about college
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-04-26 10:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5001334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaTapJR/pseuds/pandaTapJR, https://archiveofourown.org/users/stArchaeopteryx/pseuds/stArchaeopteryx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alioth just wants to get through their last year of college with a 4.0 GPA, absolutely and blissfully alone, just like every previous year. Valencia has always been a free spirit and a rebel. She knows she's going to make senior year of high school the best ever. And Gwyn is just an awkward college freshman with a knack for acting, aiming to become the gayest boy on campus.</p><p>Everything changes when they're shoved into one dorm together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Modern Dorkmates

Alioth Garfield likes it when they get what they asked for. Because when they don’t, they either have to take action to fix it (often involves having to speak with people and _strangers_ ) or stick it out with whatever mistake was made. For Alioth, both options, to put it frankly, suck. So every morning, Alioth begs the universe for the day to run smoothly.

It usually doesn’t work. But Alioth’s been having a bit of a lucky streak recently, so they walk through the campus of Oath University almost optimistically.

It’s the same campus they’ve walked through for the past three years. There are trees lining the trails that lead from building to building, and the green leaves upon them are dappled with various warm colors that signify the coming of autumn. It’s a pretty sight, but Alioth has little fondness for it. No, because being here is for education and graduation and succeeding a little more in life, not enjoying things. Granted, Alioth enjoys education. They enjoy what they do best.

Alioth takes another look at the map in their hands. For some reason, their room was moved to some other dormitory across campus this year, for a slight discount on the boarding price. That was alright. They liked saving money. But it was _all the way across campus_.

They finally arrived, and was immediately struck by something. These dorms were huge. The building was probably twice the size of the usual dormitory, and architecturally the only one on campus, it appeared. On the inside, there didn’t seem to be common bathrooms… odd. But nevermind that, where’s room 42?

Alioth found and opened the door to room 42 and was shocked still. A spacious bed area, probably twice the size of a normal dorm. An unshared bathroom. A _fucking kitchen_. What is this place?!

Well then, the next thing they should do is explore. Alioth peeked into the bathroom. Toilet, check. Sink, check. Holy moly it’s a shower. God bless.

They entered the kitchen next. Has almost everything an apartment’s kitchen would have, and includes a little fridge and tiny table. Beautiful. It was almost too good to be true… how did this constitute a _discount_ , when the price should have gone _up?_

The dorm door opens with a huge baN _g_. Alioth freaked out and dropped underneath the table, thinking it was a gunshot or bomb or something. It was something much worse.

“THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL,” a voice screams from the entrance. “THE ONE AND ONLY VALENCIA LAVENDER HAS ARRIVED.”

“I call bottom bunk,” a second voice announces before burping very obnoxiously.

“Cool with me, cool dude.” Two heavy thumps indicate bags being dropped (or thrown, from what Alioth has heard, they wouldn’t be surprised if their roommates were escaped zoo animals). “ANYBODY HOOOOOME?”

Alioth went to get up, smashing their head into the table. They hissed in pain, and then took note of a piece of paper, floating down from the tabletop. It looked like a letter. Alioth scanned it in a split second.

_Oh. Oh no._

They exhale sufferingly and crawl out from under the table and immediately fell back onto the floor. Their roommates were wild animals. _No one_ should disrespect chocolate by using it as a missile.

Alioth stomped their way out of the kitchen, the letter from the school board clutched in their hands. “What the fuck are you guys doing?!”

“Hi, stranger!” A girl with light purple hair waved excitedly.

“There’s another person here?” The other kid, some golden blond, said.

Alioth shoved the letter into both their faces. “Is this what you guys are supposed to be?”

The two squinted at the piece of paper.

“ _Alioth Garfield, Gwynneth Vellous, Jessamine Lavender, You have been relocated to the exclusive dormitories due to the regular dorms overcrowding. We have matched your boarding fee to split the fee evenly. We apologize for the income… incon…_ ” The blond (apparently named Gwynneth) read. “Uh, how do you pronounce this word?”

“Inconvenience!” Alioth all but yelled.

“Cool! We’re going to be a three-man dorm squad!” Jessamine, self-called Valencia for some reason…? squealed.

“I asked for a _single dorm_.” Alioth crossed their arms. “Get out of my dorm.”

“Hey hey, this is _our_ dorm too!” Gwynneth defended. “See? It says all our names on the letter…”

Alioth tore the letter in half.

“Ok… but it _did say all our names.”_

Lavender jumped between the two. “How about we start off fresh? My name’s Jessamine Valencia Lavender, I go by my middle name and I _will_ cut you if you call me Jessamine or any other derivative of.” She held out her hand cheerfully. “And that’s Gwyn, he’s my best friend since like preschool and you can call him JJ. But not J-Bird, because that’s my nickname for him.”

 _Didn’t plan on it._ Alioth paused to ponder whether they should shake just to be polite or ignore it because they were pissed. They decided to be irrational and only looked at her hand in disdain.

“And your name’s Alioth right?” Valencia barged on without acknowledging Al’s clear disgust for her. “So… are you a boy or a girl?”

“No.” Alioth replied.

“Wait so is that a ‘no’ to being Alioth or…?”

“I _am_ Alioth.”

“So—”

“I think they’re neither a boy nor a girl.” Gwyn intervened.

Wow, an award to this guy for understanding right off the bat. But not too big of an award, because Alioth was still fuming.

“Ohhhh,” Valencia nodded. “So, um. It’s pretty late.”

“It’s 5 in the afternoon,” Al informed her.

“Like I said, pretty late. I’ll deal with unpacking… sometime.”

The next day, Alioth discovered that Gwyn woke Val up by pounding his feet into the bottom of her bunk. 

This was going to be a very long year.


End file.
